She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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