so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
