Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
