...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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