I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I believe in your delicious
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
