:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
