i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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