I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
