i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
