Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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