so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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