This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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