You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I would ride that face into the sunset
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
