Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
