happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
