You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
how drunk are you?
Several
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
