Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
