Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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