And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
