I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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