Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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