piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize