I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
