Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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