why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
