why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
