am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
