By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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