My nipple is on Facebook.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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