Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
