I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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