That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I said "one day" and that day is not today
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
