he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
