I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
