Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
