I have demons in me.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
