I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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