Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize