Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
