Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
