I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
