I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
