May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
