i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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