Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
