Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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