I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i think we sleep fucked last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
