Capitaan dildo arrescate!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i think i just lost a toe
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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