So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
