I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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