I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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