I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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