I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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