So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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