I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize