So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
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Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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