hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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