the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
