Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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